MY EMBARRASSING CPR STORY

MY EMBARRASSING CPR STORY

This afternoon I am taking a CPR/AED certification course that is required by NASM if I hope to receive my personal training certification. Oddly enough, I am looking forward to the class.

When I used to be certified when I was a lifeguard, I liked feeling like I could help someone in case an emergency situation arose. We’ve all heard stories about people whose lives were saved by a stranger who administered CPR or the Heimlich maneuver and knowing that I might be able to help someone in need was a pretty cool thing, though I obviously hoped I’d never actually need to use it.

At the pool where I worked in the summer as a lifeguard during high school (Birchwood Pool, for any Palatine people out there), lifeguards would randomly get audited by an outside company to test their knowledge and make sure they knew their stuff.

We never knew when the auditors were going to come to the pool. They would blend in with the patrons while examining your lifeguarding skills before selecting a small handful of guards to demonstrate CPR skills on a mannequin.

Guess who got selected during her first year? You betcha.

I was so, so nervous. While I knew my stuff, the pressure stressed me out and I was scared I’d mess up on something incredibly basic. Of course, I did.

The auditor began quizzing me on administering CPR to an infant. I shouted at the mannequin baby and lightly shook it, checking for movement. Mannequin baby wasn’t breathing. It was go time.

I told the auditor that it was time to administer CPR and he asked me how I knew where to put my fingers on the infant to begin the chest compressions.

My reply?

“First, locate the scrotum.”

I heard snickers and giggles from the fellow lifegards.

“The what?”

“The scrotum”

Serious laughter… And then it clicked.

“OH MY GOSH. The STERNUM. The STERNUM. Locate the sternum! NOT the scrotum!”

Complete humiliation.

In the lifeguard break room there was a quote board. Can you guess what quote made it into the number one spot and remained there for the rest of the summer?

“First, locate the scrotum.”

Let’s just hope my experience at today’s class goes a little more smoothly…